Munich is home to an impressive range of golf courses. And a no less impressive range of players. A typology.
He has not a second to lose and one clear goal: to win, to improve his handicap, to take home the cup, to put his opponent back in his place. Whereas most golfers would be more than happy with a bogey or even a double bogey, such scores will cause beads of sweat to form under the Sportsman’s Titleist cap.
He likes spend his free time training: the driving range for his long game, the chipping green for his middle game, the putting green for his short game and then a few hours training with a pro: video analysis of his swing, the correct stance, a slight variation to his grip. The club tournament calendar is very important to the Sportsman.
Needless to say, he carries his bag himself. It is made from plastic; is lightweight and functional; and, besides bananas and glucose, holds Goretex trousers and a matching jacket – after all, even the Sportsman can’t stop heavy rain.
On the course with
The Sportsman trains alone, wins alone and doesn’t particularly like flights. After all, following the timetable of others could delay his own training.
Home club
The Sportsman is at home on the 18-hole Championship Course at Eschenried Golf Club. He plans to defend his single handicap from here.
Role model
Tiger Woods
He famously has a lot of time on his hands, only he doesn't seem to have received the memo, as the Retiree charges around the course in his golf cart. He feels quite at home on the course due to all the time he spends there. The Retiree is generally fond of the younger folk on the course, although he thinks they tend to play too slowly.
He gets nervous at the tee when the flights block the fairway and gesticulates that he wants to carry on playing. The Retiree doesn’t worry too much about the rules; the seniors (he tends to play in a group) give themselves a metre-long putt – after all, a missed putt could increase the Retiree’s blood pressure to a dangerous level.
Home club
If he is not currently spending time in Florida or Majorca, the Retiree is generally found in one of the oldest clubs in Germany in Thalkirchen (109 years old!).
Style
As colourful as a mating parrot, he drives around the course in his golf cart. Some of his outfits even date back to the early 1980s. The cart is also often adorned with furs.
Role model
Bernhard Langer
In golf, the handicap is a number that is supposed to describe the approximate potential of a golfer.
There are precisely two groups of golfing celebrities: the sporting celebrity golfers, like Boris Becker, Sepp Maier, Lothar Matthäus and Franz Beckenbauer; and then there are the Heiner Lauterbachs, Howie Carpendales and famous dentists and TV stars.
The former obviously tend to be above average at golf, as they have a good feel for the ball and are very fit. The latter tend to only play once a year at a charity event, such as at the exclusive Eagles Charity tournaments, which are held on the most exclusive courses between Sylt and Tuscany.
The Celeb has his own golf cart bearing his initials and his own parking space in front of the clubhouse.
Home club
The Celeb feels at home in Straßlach (27-hole golf course) and can relax with his own kind in Munich’s green lung whilst digging up the ground. Whoever comes is in!
Style
The fashion sense of this species of golfer is as varied as the reasons for being famous. It ranges from a tracksuit paired with a Louis Vuitton rucksack (ex-footballer) to a full Bogner outfit.
The Beginner is naive, fresh and, above all, highly motivated. He doesn’t want to put a foot wrong and, as such, has an incredible amount of kit with him at all times: a pitchfork to fix damaged parts of the course; three pens to record the score; a net to fish lost balls out of the water; a ball marker; a brush to clean the club head; four pairs of golf gloves (you never know); ten brand-new packs of balls; a penknife to replace the spikes in his shoes; and, of course, the latest blue DGV (German Golf Association) rulebook, from January 2019, which he knows by heart, treats like a bible and enjoys quoting.
At night, he dreams of his next purchases: a GPS watch that provides daily updates on the distances between the tees and the greens at 16,000 golf courses around the world.
On the course with
Most beginners club together to get a license to play golf, so that they can practise and dream of their glorious golfing future together. They watch the Masters on television together, talk shop and discuss how the retirees are always breaking the rules.
Style
What is that golf-shop mannequin doing behind that bunker? Ah, it is a Beginner. Maybe I should buy a laser range finder too ...
Home club
The Beginner has bought a long-distance membership for a cheap club online, so that he can play as a guest at other clubs. You can often find him here: München-Brunnthal Golfing Range and 9-hole course or Harthausen Golf Course (18-hole).
The Celeb has his own golf cart bearing his initials and his own parking space in front of the clubhouse.
Handicap: In golf, the handicap is a number that is supposed to describe the approximate potential of a golfer. Beginners have to reach a handicap of 54 to be eligible to play. By way of comparison: Martin Kaymer has a handicap of 5.9.
Par: Each hole has a fixed par (3 to 5). This is the average number of shots that a very good golfer needs to complete the hole. If you play each hole to par (on average) then you have a handicap of 0, which is extremely good.
Birdie: One stroke below par.
Eagle: Two strokes below par.
Bogey: One stroke above par.
Doppel-Bogey: Two strokes above par.
